Where I work I am referred to as Maestro. Playing music at the same venue for 30 years, has been a pleasure for me and being bestowed with the title of Maestro a great honor.
I does not go without its pressures however, people will ask you for music they like to hear all the time, and you have to be able to oblige and perform for them with a good degree of aplomb.
People will also come in and ask if the could sing a song, and believe me you get all kinds,professional singers, excellent singers,good party singers, good singers, bad singers,and yes you have guessed it, people who can’t sing.
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Singers who have a monotone sound the frequency of which lies between two semi-tones of the chromatic scale, by this I mean if you take the key of F and F sharp, which are a semi tone apart,well this singer sings on a key of his own in between the two, and believes he is singing correctly and in tune and wonders why those listening have a weird look of” you can’t be serious” on their face,and why the maestro is crying from the pain in his ear,and the singer then looks at the Maestro and says “what the hell are you doing” to which I will always reply,”The IMPOSSIBLE accompanying you!” I call this singing between the cracks.
We also get drunk singers who are a breed on to them selves, sometimes they are coach drivers, sometimes members of the public, and sometimes a Bathroom Pavarotti, yes believe it or not he is still with us in the bathroom form and of course there is the female form the Kitchen Kiri Te Kanawa.
The one common denominator between all of these different breeds of singers and non singers is “EGO” they all have very big EGOS
The Drunk Singer.
They always appear just when you are about to say goodnight, up they stagger to the piano.
The will start with something like ,
I I I I I IIIII IIIII want toooooooo Shhhhhhhhing Ajjjjjjjjajjjja. Do you that one!!.
To which you politely say no.
Ah aj ajjjjjjjjjja Don’t you know the one!! Ajjjjjjjjjjjj ajjjjjj ajjjjja.
And this goes on and an on and finally not to cause a fuss I’ll say OK.
Wha wha wha k k k keeeeyyyy w w w illllll w w w w eeeeeee shh sh shhh
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhiinnnnng i ii i i iiiinnnnnn.
To which I’ll reply A Flat Minor.
And he says I I II ILLLLLL Sh shh shhhh shhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiinnnng i innnnnnnnnn
any f f flll flat s s si siii siiiiir.
OK I say you start and I’ll follow.
And So he takes the Microphone and announces.
I Immmmm I I Im m m m a Go go go gon gon gon gonna s s i
sh shh shhh shhhiinnnng A aj ajj ajjjjjj aaaaaaaajjjjjja
I ii iiitttt g go go goes L l li li l ike th th thi thi thiiis !!
AJA DE PALE MOON WAS RISIN’………